Questions You May Have...
What's up with Dorkass Apparel?
Well, you may or may not be familiar with the site dorkass.net, if you're not, well, there really is no excuse at this point... This is the online storefront of the merchandise for said site. It's honestly just as simple as that.
Are your shirts crappy digital transfers like some of these other scoundrels selling e-shirts?
The short answer to this question would be 'HELL NO!'. The shirts I offer are made using a much nicer printing method known as plot printing. Instead of simply converting bitmaps to designs, the apparel offered here is created from vector based designs, only using highly durable richly colored inks. More info on printing here.
So you're totally just selling those crappy under-shirts made by tribal children somewhere right?
Well... ... well, no. That's bizzare, I don't know where you're getting your information. Actually, I offer primarily American Apparel brand t-shirts. Mostly because I like them so much, personally, but also because they're 100% manufactured in the USA. I have no problem at all with apparel made in other countries, I only feel that said apparel tends to be acquired using underhanded practices which exploit the country, and it's workers. I also offer Fruit of the Loom stuff.
Do you offer big shirts for big bastards like me?
NO FATTIES! ..sike.. Yes, I can offer up XXXL's for your big fat burly ass.
Do you ship anywhere? I mean, will you ship to me if I live, say, somewhere other than the USA?
Yes, I can ship to many places. I built a whole page with all the info you need on shipping practices here.
What is your return policy?
Yikes, well, that is kindof a hefty one. See, every shirt ordered is custom-made to order... This means that every shirt you receive is made just for you! Every item of apparel is as unique and beautiful as the customer ordering it! :) But really what this boils down to, in terms of business, is that I will absolutely take a return on any products that got screwed up on my end, but if you just needed another size or a different color than what you ordered, well, I'm sorry. Let that be a lesson in responsibility...
Can I submit cool t-shirt ideas to you?
I am willing to design a custom t-shirt for you at a commission at a reasonable price. (contact) If you are just rampant with winner ideas and just need someone to talk to about them, please, for both of our sake, spare me.
Ouch! Why are some of these shirts so expensive?!
I know you're totally not going to believe me, but if you see a shirt over $22, I'm completely not making any profit from selling it. Okay I'm making like 5 cents. I'm literally selling them at cost (+5-10 cents to make the number even). Why would I do this? Why not?! I think my shirts are awesome, I want to share them. You wearing one of my shirts is enough profit margin for me.
Are you the walrus?
Koo koo kachoo, baby.